Trouble breathing
by TheQueenAndHerSaviour
Summary: Set after the curse has broke. Regina is lonely, missing her son, missing Emma... One memory brings a family together. (SQ)


Slowly, Regina felt herself wake up. Curled in her blanket, hugging herself, she blinks away the tiredness. The need to forget crosses her mind; with it, the idea of crossing the border. She wishes for Emma to be beside her, but she isn't. She's at home, with her son. Her heart aches thinking about Henry's hatred for her and the many times he'd voiced that. To him, she will never be anything more than the Evil Queen. To her, Henry would forever be the person she loved most in the world. To her, Henry would always be her son.

She understood his anger and wished for his forgiveness. Regina wanted forgiveness from the town's people, she understood their burning anger; anger which called for her death. A part of her welcomed the idea. That part was growing rapidly.

The only person she thought truly cared for her would never admit it. All she wanted was a family, but she knew Emma would never give up the family she now had for her. She didn't expect her to, nor did she want her to. But she had expected to see Emma more often. Last weekend was the last time she saw her and they didn't do much talking. She was supposed to have visited last night. She didn't.

Regina wanted conversation, intelligent conversation. She wouldn't admit it to Emma but she liked talking to her. In fact, she'd go as far as saying she loved talking to her. She didn't want to love it, it just happened.

Finally, she shakes her head and drags herself up, internally musing about her broken routine. Her life had always been based on lists and schedules, but without Henry, it is what kept her alive. Even that was wearing thin.

The sun beamed through the curtains, grimacing she makes her way over to the curtains, initially to close them completely, but stops midway. A smile makes its way upon her lips. Memories from years before flood her mind. Back when Henry truly was hers.

'_Mom, please! I really want to go!' Henry's voice drawled nasally. 'I feel okay, I do.' With that, he began a burst of sneezing, followed by coughing. An eyebrow raised, Regina sighed lightly. _

'_Honey, it's a pool party. You can't go in the water like this, not only will you infect everyone else with the flu, but you won't feel good. You'll feel much worse. I'm sorry, Henry.' He only pouted with watery eyes. Regina couldn't help but internally curse the swimming group Henry attends for putting this party on in the first place._

'_But mom, I feel okay!' He nodded for effect. Sniffling, he croaked out his next words. 'Mom, I'm almost seven. I got this.' Regina didn't want to laugh at her son, but she couldn't help herself. A bright smile made its way on to her lips._

'_You are getting old; you'll soon be my age!' Henry shook his head, a grimace on his face. Regina could only smile more; he'd turned six less than a month ago. 'How about we have our own beach themed party? We could have fun, just us, right?' _

_Henry nodded then, suddenly much more accepting of not attending the pool party. 'Yes! Cool!' Excitedly, the boy sat up in bed with a grin. Regina put her hand on his shoulder, slowing him down a little._

'_Okay Henry. I'll go downstairs, call your instructor, and set up our party.' Henry nodded, not fighting his mother's decision. 'How about you put on your beach clothes? The one's you were going to wear after swimming, you did look very dashing in that Hawaiian shirt, honey.' _

_Even when sick, he still grinned and puffed his chest out at the comment. 'Thanks mom, I'll be down in a minute. Can I make my own breakfast?' Regina playfully rolled her eyes and conceded with a nod. Making his own breakfast seemed to make him feel 'grown up'. _

_Regina rang David and explained Henry's illness, whilst in the garage grabbing her old umbrella. Hanging up quickly, she slips her phone in to her pocket and grabs a bucket, setting them up in the middle of the living room. She then grabs a towel and Henry's old deck chair from last summer, and places them underneath the umbrella. Henry is sat at the table in the kitchen pouring his own cereal. _

'_Good boy Henry, I'm almost done. But don't go in yet. When you've finished don't forget the bowl in the sink! After that, would you like to choose some videos from your room for us to watch?' Henry eagerly nodded, managing to be excited despite his constant coughing and sneezing._

_Regina gets other things that she had from the summer, such as Henry's shell collection, and dots them around the room. She even managed to blow up the beach ball from last summer, despite hating every second of doing it. When she'd finished, the room was now colourful and messy. Henry would simply love it. _

_She dashes upstairs, getting changed in to 'summer clothes', to fit in with the theme. She can hear Henry bounding up the stairs also, no doubt picking out his videos for the day. Happy with her appearance, she makes her way to the kitchen and pours some sweets in to a bowl. Finally, she enters the living room and calls Henry to join her. _

_She hears him bounding down the stairs and in to the living room, finding his mother smiling up at him from the beach towel on the floor. Her sunglasses reflecting his grinning face. 'Thanks mom! This is so cool!'_

_He puts his videos down and runs forward and throws himself on her for a hug. She gladly returns it, holding the sick boy tightly. Despite his excitement, she can tell he's really unwell. He's got a raging fever along with his symptoms. Sighing, she lets go and he sits in his chair, looking at the television expectantly. Before they watched the first video, Regina took some pictures of them both._

_She puts the first video on, he chose Peter Pan. She'd always hated this film, there was something about the way they depicted the characters. Henry loved it to. 'It's good mom, but it's not as good as your version when you tell it to me.' His voice was sleepy. _

'_Do I have to sit in this?' Regina shook her head, confused. 'Good.' He got out of his chair and sat beside his mother, scooting in to her side. The credits began to role and Henry began to sleep, his mother's protective embrace surrounding him. His sniffles and coughs turning in to light snores._

Later that night, he drew Regina a picture to say thank you. She puts it in the bottom of her wardrobe so she'll never lose it. She treasures it, along with the photos from that day. Regina swipes her tears away; her boy from back then is all grown up, well almost. The rest of his childhood would now be spent with Emma. The only two people she cares about.

Suddenly, a soft smile graces her lips. She had placed everything from that day in a box in her garage somewhere. She just had to see it. After an hour of rooting through everything in the garage and another thirty minutes of decorating, the scene was recreated.

A grin on her face, she sat in front of the television. She's got the drawing with her, the Peter Pan video on play… She used to hate the film, but now she loves it. When the film is playing, she can almost hear Henry's comments. This brings the realisation that no matter what she does; it will never bring back the love of son is what starts her tears. Everything about this was stupid. Regina couldn't help but try to wipe her tears away but to no avail. She curls up on the sofa, leaving her towel on the floor and slowly falls asleep.

Her last thought before she falls asleep is about her next move. This is the lowest she's been for such a long time. She will cross the border and leave town when she wakes tomorrow. The picture still in her hand, tears still falling, Peter Pan still playing, Regina closes her eyes.

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Emma had to drop off some paperwork and speak to Regina, she'd missed seeing her the previous night despite saying she'd be there. Henry was waiting in the car, refusing to see his mother yet again. She hadn't mentioned it to Regina, but she was trying to get her son to come over. The reason she hadn't mentioned it is because he kept refusing.

After knocking three times and receiving no answer, Emma was slightly worried. She knew the mayor was in, her car was in the drive and she hadn't left her house in weeks. Using the spare 'emergency key', Regina had given her one time when she was drunk and they'd slept together, Emma let herself in.

She looked in the kitchen firstly, then in to the living room cautiously, telling herself that the former mayor wouldn't be angry at this intrusion. Her heart snapped in two at the sight she received. Regina asleep on the sofa, red faced, clutching a drawing. Something Emma couldn't make out. Her eyes darted around the room in confusion.

She knew it was something to do with her and Henry, and so she quietly moved and left the house. A part of her wanted to leave, and pretend she hadn't seen anything. Emma knew that Regina would be thoroughly embarrassed. But she couldn't.

"Regina." She mutters, getting close and sitting beside her. Eye flicker open and meet Emma's with a confused stare. "Hey, I just came to drop some things off. Are you alright?" Carefully Regina sits up and looks around the room, embarrassed.

"I…" She has no explanation; nothing that she wishes to divulge to Emma anyway. "Leave." She says, confident. With a gulp, she can feel the tears rising, she just wants the woman in front of her to wrap her in a hug, tell her that everything's going to be alright.

"No. Come here." As if sensing Regina's wishes, she leans forward and pulls her in to a hug. "I'm sorry I didn't come last night. I was hoped in to this thing with Mary Margaret and- well, it doesn't matter. I'm just sorry." Her palms stroke down Regina's back soothingly.

Regina lets herself cry in to Emma's chest. "I miss you, Emma. I miss Henry. But he hates me, and there's nothing I can do." Her resolve is gone. "I want to make it up to him, to you both. I love him so much." She pauses, sniffling.

"I love you, Emma." Regina doesn't leave anytime for a response, but she can feel the woman stiffen slightly. Immediately, she assumes the feelings aren't returned. "And I have to say good bye. I'm leaving town tomorrow. I can't- I can't do this anymore. I have nothing."

Emma opens her mouth to respond, but another voice calls out in place of her. "Mom?" Henry's scared voice questions. Regina is rigid in Emma's arms. "You do have things here mom, you have me."

Emma can hear the sadness in his voice. She almost turns to tell him off, get him back to the car. But this could actually do them both some good. "Mom, I'm sorry, I don't hate you." They can both hear his voice cracking. "Don't leave me." He sniffles.

Regina sits up with a smile on her face. "Come here my sweet boy." He runs forward and hugs her tightly. Her face is buried in his hair; she hadn't held him like this in years. But he feels exactly the same, if not a little bigger.

She tries to sooth Henry, rubbing his back, planting a kiss on his head. "Don't leave." He repeats. "I want us to be a family." Emma can't help but be surprised at his change in attitude. She'd had her suspicions that despite claiming to hate Regina, claiming that he didn't miss her at all, he truly did. It was in the little things, like school dinners and tucking him in at nights.

"I'm sorry." Regina says, clinging on to the boy. Finally, as the tears end, she lets him go. Emma is sat on the floor, watching them, feeling intrusive. He looks around questioningly. "Do you remember-"

He cuts her off, "when I was sick and we had our own beach themed thingy?" Regina nodded, glad he remembered the day she held closely in her heart. With a smile, he turned to his mom. "So, are we watching Peter Pan then?"

Glad to know that he's not grown up enough yet that he's too old for it, she nods once more. She sorts the video out. Emma watches on, wondering if she should leave. Returning to the sofa, Regina motions to the spot next to her.

Emma moves in, and they watch the film together, as a family. By the end, the credits rolling, Henry is asleep. Regina had suspected as much. When he was younger and he'd cry, he'd always be sleepy. Crying really took it out of him. About to get up and clean up the mess she'd created earlier, a hand stops her.

"Regina, I didn't get to say it before." She looks up with hopeful eyes. "I love you too."

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**A/N: Just a quick one shot because Regina missing Henry breaks my heart. Thank you for reading! :)**


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